Respiratory Therapy 101: Just Keep Breathing

I thought I had seen some disgusting things in my day. After all, I work in an environment where I am surrounded by sickly people, many of whom will attempt to coat me in their horrible bodily fluids. Sometimes I must work with people whose hygiene skills are…who am I kidding? They have no hygiene skills. I mean, some of my patients are growing yeast in their disgusting doughy folds. Some of them haven’t bathed since the Nixon administration. Others sit in vile pools of their own filth, wallowing in their horrific excrement, marinading in a hellish sauce of doom or sometimes skating around in it.

But even considering all of those horrible things, it would seem that Dragon Laugh (link warning: horrible, disgusting, and yet strangely amusing story under the link) has managed to top everything I have ever experienced. She even made me come up with a new “disgusting” tag just for this post. An excerpt from the original post:
“So, here’s the scene: You’re sitting at your desk with an oaf of a woman damn-near plastered to your side, and she stinks. You lean away a little bit, trying to be casual about your search for fresh air. She leans in, towering her sweaty bulk over your shoulder and head. The more you casually lean away, the more she comfortably leans in, until you’re as sideways in your chair as you can get without falling, and save for her feet being planted on the floor she’s in your lap…

Imagine someone following around a dog bloated from a steady diet of beans and boiled eggs, scooping up the inevitable foul explosion, and eating it. Daily. That is what her breath smells like. Further, it’s no little waft that drifts by your nose on occasion; this woman is a full-fledged mouth-breather, and due either to her weight or some anatomical oddity, she’s also a hard breather.  “

These are fairly mild excerpts that I found funny for whatever reason. The story goes on, and it is amazing what the woman in the story does: letting off warlike cries in the public restroom, leaving fluids and discharges on surfaces, and experiencing a total failure to comply with the basic laws of cleanliness. I feel for Dragon Laugh…the only word I can even come up with is “horrible.” I’ll link to the original one more time so you can go experience it for yourself. It is amazing.

Original content later.