WTF? July 8, 2009
Posted by keepbreathing in Uncategorized.trackback
Maybe I am being judgmental, but it seems to me that when you revoke Grandpa’s recent, clearly worded, clearly signed and prominently posted DNR and ask us to intubate him and place him on heavy pressors and full-on life support in clear violation of his clearly stated desires, all because “we wanted him to live to 100,” you are being a total dipshit. In fact, I’d stab you in the eyeballs over and over with a cafeteria spork just to drive home the fact that there is a special place in hell for people who do things like this.
You know, I could understand this violation of the DNR if you didn’t know he had a DNR, or if you panicked and then asked us to make him CMO once the DNR was brought to light. I could understand violating it or temporarily rescinding it for minor surgery or other procedures. There are exceptions to rules, and there are occasionally solid reasons to violate a signed and clear-cut DNR. But “we wanted him to live longer” is nothing more than a selfish, terrible reason to put someone through the uncomfortable rigors of the ICU against their wishes. I wanted my grandfather to live longer too, but nobody in my family had the unmitigated audacity to rescind his DNR and violate his wishes. No, we made the hard choice and let him die peacefully, as he wanted it. I’m sad he’s gone but I’m glad he passed peacefully in his sleep, instead of horribly in an ICU somewhere.
Your grandfather wanted to die a peaceful, dignified death. Because of you he will linger in the ICU for a few weeks before he ultimately dies of something unpleasant, painful, and expensive. There is almost nothing worse you can do to someone than to remove whatever control they tried to exert over their own inevitable death. You have ruined the last few weeks of his life, and that is an awful thing to do to another human being.
I hope he haunts you. From the grave, I hope he haunts you.
*CMO = Comfort Measures Only
i came across your site some months ago, think it is great. i am an RT in canada, and can relate sooo well to….well almost everything you write. keep it up..
Sounds like his family have different perception of what ‘living’ means.
And one less ICU bed for someone who did want and need it.
wow. well put my man. i agree with you 100%. isnt it ridiculous? there should be laws against this.
wow…I did not know that could even be done…
I love your succinct way of explaining what schmucks people can be. I am 40 and I have made it clear to anyone who will listen that I am DNR/DNI, and if ANYONE goes against that desire you better believe I will not only haunt from my grave, but it will be the most demented sacreligous(sp) haunting of ALL TIME!!!!! I feel like the family has motivation beyond just getting him to age 100…their selfish-ness implies some odd family dynamics…sigh…people!
You nailed this one KB. I agree 1000% so many people are selfish in wanting to keep others alive, not out of love but for the check that comes in at the first of the month. I currently have a patient that is 87, her daughter just made her a DNR, and what she needs to be in CMO. She has the Q wave going on, she is on the vent and has been now for 19 days. Her daughter feels that she will get better. Palliative care has tried to talk to her, she won’t listen. She just doesn’t get it that Mom gave up, Without that one component we can do all we can do… but we can not give someone the will to live.
[...] clearly stated DNR, you are failing them in their last living moments. I see this all the time. And it’s just plain sad. Your grandfather wanted to die a peaceful, dignified death. Because of you he will linger in [...]
My parents and in-laws have been quite direct in stating – no heroic measures. In fact they’ve stated this a number of times.
We haven’t had to make any decisions yet, but they were so forceful abot what they want that I hope we won’t be making any deviations from what they wanted.
It may be that the elders need to be calling out loud and clear, before they get so sick, about what their desires are. If Grandma/Grandpa has told you a dozen times – no machines, no tubes – maybe you’d think twice.
How is that LEGAL? I think my DNR will explicitly say that it cannot be revoked without a court order, even by my advocate.
This selfishness always makes me angry. Heaven forbid we let people die in peace. I too hope he haunts them.
So it seems to me that grandpa made this decision when he was compatent, and now his body finally agreed with his mind. To bad the family has decided to disagree with the natural course of life. My theory, stolen from a collegue, is… if you didn’t see me go down and you find me, leave me alone. If you did see me collapse (code) do what you can.
My favorite is when they say the DNR is revoked for “24 hours” so a medical procedure (i.e. Bronchoscopy) can be completed. Patient then codes in ENDO (where CPR MUST BE performed because DNR’s don’t count in procedure areas my friends!) and BAM!!!! Intubation! Not to mention – that codes in Endo never go well, since NO ONE in that room knows what they are doing!!!! (UM, at my last ENDO code the nurse did compressions with no gloves on, on a patient with those ever-present GI bleed coffee grinds spewing out of his mouth and on to his chest. Can you say NERVOUS?) AAAAANNNNDDDD when they got a rhythm back from all those drugs – they actually patted themselves on the back for “saving a life”. I wanted to puke. In the end, this patient suffered fourteen days on a ventilator – needlessly. This SHOULD be illegal.